When I'm gone
by karlaakamsloki
Summary: Darcy asks questions but the answers may be more complicated than she imagine.


7- Thursday

Darcy met Loki when he was trying to take over the world, or more accurately on the fiftieth time he tried.

Loki had decided to cause mayhem just as Darcy has decided to get a coffee on the Starbucks right around the corner from the SHIELD building. Years later Darcy would think about the sounds, the people, the way the sky darken not with clouds but with some sort of magic that made it seem like the sky had been erased from Earth.

Loki had been standing right outside, smirking and glancing at his handiwork with glee. Right before he move towards the SHIELD building- where Darcy just knew he was headed- she ran from the building where people had been silently holding onto each other for comfort.

"STOP!" Darcy knew she shouldn't have run outside like that. She more than knew Loki could kill her with a snap of his fingers, none of it matter to her though because it there was something she wanted more than safety it was answers.

Loki had been enraged, all traces of humor left his eyes and Darcy could only tremble as she took a deep breath and move towards him.

"You dare interrupt my mischief human? You dare to insult a God?!" He raised his scepter towards her but Darcy simply shook her head and stop just a few inches from the scepter's tip.

"I dare because I want know why." She was afraid, very much afraid of the manic way his eyes moved over her face,her body, her soul.

"Why?" He looked confused now, still manic though Darcy figured no one could take that away, the thought frightened her. The shock of the unexpected question forced the scepter to point back to the ground once more.

"Why are you doing this?" She opened her arms wide as if to signal the entire planet. "Why do you hate us so much? Why Earth? Why did you attack a goddamn bank last month? Why did you decide to hurt Tony by trying to kill Pepper? Why is Jane in a coma?... If I am to die right now I just want to why."

The silence that follow was deafening.

Loki didn't look as manic now though Darcy could still traces of it behind his green eyes. No, Darcy thought Loki just looked lost and she wondered if he could answer those questions as much as she could.

When the sound of the quinjet roared above them Loki simple tilted his head as if to acknowledge her before disappearing in a sea of green smoke.

6- Friday

She had been sent home.

It made her feel like a child but as much as she hated that feeling the looks on the avengers face after what she did was kind of priceless. Captain fucking America had suggested therapy and Darcy had muttered under her breath that she wasn't the only one in the building that needed therapy.

Director Fury told her to take the week off and she had no other choice but the say yes.

Now curl up on her small but comfy couch watching something mindless on TV she wondered what Loki had thought of her, wonder if he was as surprised as her over how stupid she could be because that had been super stupid even by her scale.

She didn't notice the dark figure behind her until he spoke.

"Darcy Lewis, you ask an awful lot of questions." Darcy barely felt the floor when she fell from the couch.

It took her a moment to sit back up but that was all the time Loki needed to move around the couch and sit down right in front of her.

Loki smirk at their positions, it took Darcy a moment to realize it looked like she was _kneeling_.

She huffed and immediately stood up getting as far away as possible from the couch, which wasn't very much since her apartment was tiny. There was a beat of silence before Loki spoke.

"Darcy Lewis I do believe I shall be truthful with you, you were the person after all to even bother to ask." Darcy couldn't help but wonder if there was any actual truth in there.

"Shall I tell how I was stolen as a baby from the frozen realm that is Jotunheim? That I did not know this and instead I was forced to hate the very thing that I am? That I was nothing more than a stolen relic until the man I called Father for thousands of years would have use of me? Would you believe then if I told you all those crimes you accuse me of are not mine? A doctor by the name of Doom has been using my name to cover his own tracks for he wishes not to be found. Not yet."

Darcy took a moment to process everything he had said and realize all those things he said still didn't excuse him from everything he had done.

"Why are you telling me all this?"

Loki looked pensive at her question but simple gave her a nod before disappearing.

5- Saturday

Darcy felt him as soon as he enter her apartment.

"I feel sorry for you, I really do. I wish you hadn't taken the easy way out."

He stayed in the shadows and Darcy resigned herself to not seeing his face when he heard her.

"You know nothing _Darcy_." Anger in his tone but what else was knew?

"Did Odin not love you? Did your mother? And your brother? Did Odin lock you up in some dark dungeon? Or did he raise you as his son? Don't you love them?"

There was a beat of silence before he answered.

"Sentiment is a very dangerous thing Miss Lewis."

She felt him leave, this chill to the air she couldn't describe leaving her bones as he left.

4- Sunday

"I am dying."

Darcy had been sleeping, or trying to.

It took her a moment to take notice of what Loki had said but when she did her breath caught and her hands began to tremble because god when had she started to care?

"You're lying." Her voice trembled and her vision blurred.

"I am not. You asked me before why I wanted to talk to you, well this my answer Darcy Lewis." He stood in his armor, regal as always while she lounged in her bed in a tank top and pajama bottoms.

"How?" Because really how could a God die?

"I have made a deal with a very powerful...being in exchange for something." He looked at her tear stained face and frowned.

"Do you care Darcy Lewis?" She nodded her head, unable to talk.

"Why?" He looked puzzle and why shouldn't he, she had only met him three days before.

"I don't know."

3-Monday

Loki hadn't left. He had simple walked towards her small living room, made the couch extra long with his magic and slept.

When Darcy had woken to find him still sleeping in her couch she had freak out and almost made a dash back to her bedroom so she could get her phone and get the Avengers because Loki freaking Odinson was sleeping on her couch.

Darcy wondered when this had become her life.

Once she took a couple deep breaths and the panic went away she approach Loki. He seemed in a deep sleep and she was almost sorry about trying to wake him up.

"Loki." She poke his still armor clad shoulder and waited a second for acknowledgment.

It never came.

With faint fear she recalled what he told her a couple hours before, Loki was dying.

Slowly she let her fingertips trace the side of his slender and pale neck, in hopes of finding a pulse. For half a second dread filled her when she couldn't find it but soon she felt the little pulse that told her Loki was still alive somewhere.

_Barely_, she thought.

Now that she was sure he was still alive she took the time to examine his face because she seriously doubt she would come this close to him again without him threatening her or something. His skin was soft and harsh all at the same time, his eyes looked sunken like he had seen way too many things for just one person to handle, god or not. His lips looked chapped and with some trepidation she let her fingertips trace his lips, she could feel the broken skin beneath. She spent more time on those beautiful, gorgeous lips than she should have because before she knew it her finger was inside his mouth -and god to Darcy it felt like she had stuck her hand in a pool of cold water in a hot summer day- and he was looking at her with an amuse expression.

Once again Darcy found that she had been kneeling before Loki. In embarrassment she tried to dislodged her finger from his mouth but he only bit on her finger harder, not enough to hurt but enough to let her know she wasn't going anywhere. Before she could stuttered her way to an apology or something equally stupid, Loki began sucking on her finger.

Darcy started to shift uncomfortably because she was not immune to gorgeous gods, not matter how destructive or evil they may be. She began to feel warm, more warm that she was not five seconds ago.

"Loki." The gasp of pleasure left her mouth before she could stop it and the shock it seemed enough to pull her from whatever spell Loki had put her under. Her eyes grew wide, her awkward uncomfortably shifting stopped and she roughly took her finger out of his mouth. Loki still looked amuse though and she wished for nothing more than to take that look off his face.

"Ok so umm...breakfast? I make so mean toast...and I guess I could make pancakes or something...for my birthday Jane gave me a pancake maker in the shape of Disney characters, I love to eat goofy, it's so freaking funny." She stumbled while she get up and her babble didn't stop until she reach the safety of her small kitchen.

She knew Loki had been toying with her, what else could he been doing? It make stomach hurt and her eyes water.

"Darcy." She turned away from the door and rubbed her eyes in vain hopes of getting rid of those horrible tears that had absolutely no business being there before he saw.

"Yeah?" Her voice was nothing but a squeak and she made her cringed.

"_Darcy Lewis_ look at me." His voice wasn't a command, more like a plea and the shock made Darcy do exactly what he told her.

He looked ready for battle and Darcy wondered if he ever relax, if he ever just stop and smelt the metaphorical roses. She stepped closer to the doorway, crossing her arms beneath her breasts desperately trying to look into his eyes because that was the only place where she couldn't find any lies.

She wonder if it meant she could see into his soul, but no that couldn't be it because Darcy Lewis was not that special.

He took her hand and placed it on his cheek and looked at her, to her horror the manic look he had in his eyes the first time she met him was there and she wanted to cry again in anger of it.

"Listen to me because this very important. I want you think about me, about why I matter to you. Listen to me Darcy Lewis I _need_ to know the reasons why I matter to you. Understand?" She looked into his eyes and noticed they shined in the light like emeralds.

Panicked, manic emeralds.

"Okay." Her voice was nothing but an uncertain whisper but Loki merely nodded and let her hand drop from his cheek. Instead he grabbed her face between his hands and softly gave her nothing but a butterfly kiss to her lips, Darcy gasped with the shock of it.

By the time she opened her eyes, he was gone.

She went through the rest of day like nothing had happened that morning, or at least she tried to.

2- Tuesday

Going crazy in her apartment wasn't going to help anybody, lest of all herself so she got up from another sleepless night and got ready to go see Jane.

The medical bay in the S.H.I.E.L.D building was state of the art, best in the country or at least that's what everyone kept telling her.

Jane was stashed in one of the few permanent rooms there and Darcy hated walking through those doors, it reminded her that Jane had been stuck there for more than four months now and none of those state of the art doctors could do anything about it.

Darcy tried to visit at least once a week, mostly on the weekends when she had time to sit and talk to Jane about everything going on with her research (which S.H.I.E.L.D told her couldn't been abandon, _it's too important, _they said), the weather, anything at all. Anything except Thor, who was so devastated no one knew what to do for him.

Once she opened the door to Jane's room she found it empty, she wasn't surprised. Thor only went at nights and Erik completely ignored Jane was in a coma.

"Look at you. Your hair is so long." Saying so Darcy bent to give Jane a kiss on her forehead and run her fingers delicately through her hair, which _was_ getting immensely long.

She ran her fingertips through her face just as she had done the day before to Loki and realize they didn't look all that different.

_Barely alive_, she thought.

She sat down and grabbed Jane's hand because she had miss almost a week at the lab she didn't much to say about the research so instead she focused on Loki.

"I met Loki the other day. He's hotter than expected and sadder than expected too, Jane he looks so lonely and I... I don't know what I did or what to do for that matter because...He's like a stray you know? You just want to take him home and cuddle him and make sure he doesn't go on a killing spree or something and I know I'm going to get in so much trouble when pirate man finds out what I'm doing you know? Loki asked to figure out why I think he's important and honestly I don't know... I mean I think he has the ability to be good you know? And he's dying Jane, he's going to die and I..." She stopped abruptly when she heard her phone chirp.

_Come to the roof_

She scrambled to her feet when she realize it was probably Loki because really who else would send her such a creepy, cryptic message?

She ran out the room and bolted for the stairs knowing the roof was just a few floors up. Once she got there she hesitated on the door for a second before pushing it open with anticipation.

What she found made her sick to her stomach.

Loki was laying on the roof's floor, unmoving. A shadowy figure in front of him.

"LOKI!" She hit her knees hard when she went down next to him, she grabbed his head between her hands and put her fingers on his neck and found no pulse.

"What have you done to him?!" She yelled at the cloaked figure who was nothing but a black mass.

"The trickster and I have a agreement." The voice was harsh and deep.

"What agreement?" She gently grabbed his head and placed it on her legs, hyperaware of the figure in front of her. She ran her hands through his head and began to noticed how cold Loki was getting, she rubbed his cheeks with the palms of her hand trying to bring some warm into him, even though a part of her told her it wouldn't work.

"TELL ME!" Desperation coated her voice when the figure in front of her refused to answer.

The figure took a moment as if the asses her worthiness, after a second it came closer and stop right in front of Loki's fallen form. The figure shifted transforming black mass to legs, arms, torso until in front of Darcy stood a beautiful woman.

"I am Hela, ruler of Hel." Her voice was still harsh and deep. Hela stood in front Darcy and contemplated.

"The agreement was simple, the trickster god would bring a caring soul and I in turn would give the mortal's soul back." Hela elaborated no further and Darcy looked at her face feeling there something wrong with it, like half of it was still part of the shadow Hela had left behind.

"I'm the caring soul aren't I? And the mortal?" Darcy thought for a second and then laughed brokenly. "Jane... Loki is trying to get Jane's soul back."

Darcy thought for a moment and noticed with dread that Loki had a slight blue tint to his skin.

"And Loki? What happened to him? Why is he...?" Darcy wouldn't say it and she could literally feel Loki getting colder and bluer.

"The stipulations of the bet were simple as well. If the trickster god fail to bring me a caring soul I would keep not only the mortal's soul but his as well." Hela's smile chilled Darcy to the bone just like Loki's presence once did in her apartment.

"And if Loki won?" Darcy prompted.

"Then I would have to return the mortal's soul and the trickster god's as well." Hela's smiled was still there and Darcy wonder if Loki had already lost. If the colder and bluer he got, the further away his soul was.

_Dead, Loki was dead, for Jane, _Darcy thought.

Her hands, still tangled in Loki's hair, trembled.

"But I can't do something can I? I'm suppose to be the caring soul." She untangled her hands from his hair and slowly stood up to face Hela, hardly aware of the ache on her knees.

Keeping her eyes on Hela's, Darcy walked around Loki's body drawing Hela's gaze away from him and unto her. Leaving Loki behind, she stood in front of Hela and waited because she knew it wasn't over. Loki, it seemed, always had one more trick up his sleeve.

"Yes mortal, you are in fact the caring soul but..." Hela's smiled only deepen. "By observing you I have seen you do not care for him anymore than you do any other life."

"Yes! But I care." Darcy answered quickly, already she felt like she was losing ground. "You never said how much I had to care, just that I did."

Hela's smile was still in place and Darcy almost took a step back in fear of that smile.

Darcy took a deep breath and turned to look at Loki, who by now was almost completely blue (at least, what she could see of him). Only his hands remained and Darcy marvel at how much he looked like the the rising sky in the morning.

Still looking at him, Darcy thought quickly. Long ago when Jane had just found out who Thor was, Darcy remembered reading about his family, his parents and Loki and how long they all had lived. Something pulled at the back at her head, she remembered touching his lips once upon a time in her apartment and how broken his lips had looked. Loki manipulated everything around him, is what he did.

And then Darcy remembered and she almost smiled.

"Tell me what he said, word for word. Tell me what he said." Because Darcy had figured it out.

Hela's smile dimmed in confusion but she answered nevertheless.

"'I ask for a agreement for your amusement. I seek to regain the soul of Jane Foster as I know a mortal by the name of Victor von Doom has cast it to your realm. If I can posses a caring soul in midgardian three days time then I shall regain Jane's soul and you shall send it back to her body, but... if I should lose then you will get to keep her soul and take my own.' I must say three midgardian days in not enough. The trickster god did not found someone who cared for him." Hela looked down at Loki with something that to Darcy looked like pity.

This time Darcy smiled and laughed, until Hela's attention was pulled back to her and the anger Darcy felt brewing there felt like victory.

"Don't you get it? Nowhere in there does it say I have to care for Loki. It just said that I had to care and there is one more person in that bet I could care for." She held up her hand before Hela could talk. "I know what you're going to say, you're going to say you have been watching us but Loki had to try didn't he? He had to make it seem like he wanted me to care. I care for Jane, you know what? I take that back I love Jane and you have to pay up and there's not better time than the present."

Hela's rage was physical. The building began to shake and Darcy felt her heart in her throat and once again she felt hard on her knees next to Loki, clutching his now deep blue hand- which was so cold Darcy felt she might actually get frostbite- she closed her eyes and waited for the worst but just as suddenly the shaking stop and Darcy began to feel Loki getting warmer.

She opened her eyes and saw everything was exactly the same not even the rocks on the ground looked disturb, she wondered if the shaking had been inside her.

Suddenly she was upright and wobbled but a steady arm around her waist prevented the fall. She looked up to see Loki staring smugly at Hela, who now looked like someone had killed her puppy.

"Really Hela you should know better. Let's this be a lesson to never take a bargain from a trickster." Loki held up a hand when Hela raised her own hand.

"Please Hela I beg you not to embarrass yourself any further, give me my end of the deal and walk away. Go back to Hel and plot something against me that surely keep you amuse." Darcy wondered if there an honor code among kings and queens in the other realms.

Hela looked at Loki for another minute, staring at him unblinkingly no emotion on her, until she simply raised her hand and then brought it down again.

Then she was gone and Darcy felt like it had all been a dream except Loki still had his arm around her waist.

"I am glad your intellect did not prove me wrong Darcy." Before she had time to say anything to that he gave her a brief kiss on her forehead and disappeared.

Darcy was left to stare at the roof's floor. It took her a moment to realize someone had opened the access door to the roof.

When she turned around she was faced with five Avengers and one smiling Erik.

"Jane's awake"

1- Wednesday

When Darcy returned to her apartment building it was with equal parts happiness and anger.

She was beyond static Jane was awake but the five hour interrogation about what happened on the roof was anything but fun. Coulson had been playing good cop, while pirate eye had been bad cop, Darcy privately thought it was all ridiculous.

Darcy didn't hold anything back, well maybe a thing or two, about what had happened with Loki through one of the weirdest weeks in her life. S.H.I.E.L.D now had a file on one Hela, ruler of Hel and Darcy got to home. Win, win as far as she was concerned.

Darcy knew she should care more about Loki tricking her but really all Loki had been doing was trying to bring Jane back, and almost gave his own life for it too. Darcy still had mixed emotions about what happened on her couch but she had no one to blame on that one but herself, so instead she put it on the back of her head and ignored it.

But like the sand trying to ignore the waves, it just doesn't happen.

Once she opened her apartment door, she noticed her tiny couch was still big enough to fit Loki and that said god was in it.

Watching TV of all things.

"This is how mortals amusing themselves? I must say it is exactly what I expected." Loki threw her a smirk.

Darcy shook her hand and sat down next to him, trying to figure it out what he was doing there. To her shock he was no longer in his armor but a simple white button down shirt and black slacks.

"So... color me confuse." Because what else could she say?

"I find myself cravings these pancakes you speak of, I quite enjoy the little mouse movies." Saying so he stood up and headed for the kitchen.

"Wait." When Loki turned to face her she spread her arms wide as if the hug the room.

"Why?" She asked him.

"Why not?" He smiled and walked into the kitchen.

Darcy smiled and thought to herself that maybe she didn't care for Loki in the way she cared for Jane and that was okay because maybe she could grow to care for Loki in her own special way.

Because why not fall for the God of Mischief.


End file.
